Borrow money from pessimists they don't expect it back.
More Quotes from Steven Wright:
Sorry ... my mind was wandering ... One time it went all the way to Venus and ordered a meal I couldn't pay for.Steven Wright
I went to a garage sale. 'How much for the garage' 'It's not for sale.'
Steven Wright
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G.
Steven Wright
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
Steven Wright
I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep. Mom said, 'Steven, time to go to sleep.' I said, 'But I don't know how.' She said, 'It's real easy. Just go down to the end of tired and hang a left.' So I went down to the end of tired, and just out of curiosity I hung a right. My mother was there, and she said 'I thought I told you to go to sleep.'
Steven Wright
I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house.
Steven Wright
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