My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
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I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.Rodney Dangerfield
A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
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With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!
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My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
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I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going.
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Based on Keywords: unclesMy choice early in life was either to be a piano-player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference.
Harry S. Truman
I wasn't like most girls.
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I learned patience, perseverance, and dedication. Now I really know myself, and I know my voice. It's a voice of pain and victory.
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