There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.
More Quotes from Phyllis Diller:
Keep at least one window pane clean to check the weather. Once when I didnt do this I sent the kids off with umbrellas for six weeks straight.Phyllis Diller
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
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The only parts left of my original body are my elbows.
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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
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I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
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There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?
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There should be a place and the space for all pop.
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My family was very supportive of my acting. They didn't really have a choice because I got jobs acting before anyone could really say anything. It paid my way through college and helped my family out.
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