Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
More Quotes from Phyllis Diller:
Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.Phyllis Diller
If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, Who could have done this we have no enemies
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Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me.
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We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
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You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
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