I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.
More Quotes from Mitch Hedberg:
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.Mitch Hedberg
My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'
Mitch Hedberg
COME ON YOU'RE FROM THE SOUTH YOU UNDERSTAND, I MEAN I'M IN THE STH I WANT SOME SP
Mitch Hedberg
Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Robin Williams. I am the king of the pen.
Mitch Hedberg
My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever... Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light, a bunch of koala bears scatter. And I don't want 'em to. I'm like, 'Hey, hold on fellas - Let me hold one of you.'
Mitch Hedberg
I wrote a letter to my dad, I was going to write 'I really enjoyed being here', but I accidentally wrote 'rarely' instead of 'really'. But I wanted to use it, I didn't want to cross it out, so I wrote 'I rarely drive steamboats, Dad. There's a lot of sht you don't know about me. Quit trying to act like I'm a steamboat operator.' I know this letter took a harsh turn right away.
Mitch Hedberg
Readers Who Like This Quotation Also Like:
Based on Topics: Brain Quotes, Mind Quotes, Name Quotes, People QuotesI think it will be truly glorious when women become real people and have the whole world open to them.
Isak Dinesen
The men were all scumbags, but the whole point of the film is to show the development of that. Each guy is going in there to have a good time. By and large, these men are career men, family men, and you just see the deterioration of them.
Taylor Dane
I shall never be ashamed of citing a bad author if the line is good.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca