I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
More Quotes from Joan Rivers:
Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer.Joan Rivers
We all started on his show, ... Every solid comedian today really got their break on the Carson show.
Joan Rivers
The last time I appeared in Las Vegas, they were wearing hoop skirts and Davy Crockett hats, ... But they say 'What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.' And as far as fashion is concerned, that's a good thing.
Joan Rivers
My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.
Joan Rivers
My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.
Joan Rivers
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Men are the dreams of a shadow.
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