Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer.
More Quotes from Joan Rivers:Get a pet, an animal you will love and one that will love you in return. In your home, there should be something besides the rugs to take care of. Get a pet that will stain those rugs and you'll have a happier home.
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
The last time I appeared in Las Vegas, they were wearing hoop skirts and Davy Crockett hats, ... But they say 'What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.' And as far as fashion is concerned, that's a good thing.
Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.
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When I die, my epitaph should read: She Paid the Bills. That's the story of my private life.
Anyway, there is a lot of really interesting work going on in the neuroscience and psychology of consciousness, and I would love to see philosophers become more closely involved with this.
Wars should be over in three days or less... and the American people must be all for it from the outset.