I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
More Quotes from Rodney Dangerfield:I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
I went to a fight the other day and a hockey game broke out.
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
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Money and corruption are ruining the land, crooked politicians betray the working man, pocketing the profits and treating us like sheep, and we're tired of hearing promises that we know they'll never keep.
I am proud to represent these men and women who empower people in developing nations and promote the Peace Corps mission of peace and friendship. These volunteers are making major strides to improve the lives of people and communities around the world.
Please don't quote me.