I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
More Quotes from Rodney Dangerfield:
At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't.Rodney Dangerfield
With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!
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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
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I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
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