I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.
More Quotes from Mitch Hedberg:
A minibar is a machine that makes everything expensive. When I take something out of the minibar, I always fathom that I'll go and replace it before they check it off, but they make that stuff impossible to replace. I go to the store and ask, 'Do you have coke in a glass harmonica ...Do you have individually wrapped cashews'Mitch Hedberg
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.
Mitch Hedberg
Kinko's is my favourite copy place cause it's open 24 hours, like if it's three in the morning, and I suddenly decide I need two of something, I'm covered.
Mitch Hedberg
Say, I was on The Craig Kilbourne Show and the next day I flew to Minneapolis. I was at the airport and a guy came up. He said, 'Dude, I saw you on TV last night.' But he did not say whether or not he thought I was good, he just confirmed that I was on television. So I turned my head away from him for about a minute, then I turned it back. I said, 'Dude, I saw you at the airport about a minute ago. And you were good.'
Mitch Hedberg
I was walking by a drycleaner at 3a. m. and there was a sign that said Sorry, we're closed. You don't have to be sorry. It's 3a. m. and your a drycleaner. It would be ridiculous for me to expect you to be open. I'm not gonna come by at 10 and say, hey I was here at 3a. m and you guys were closed. Someone owes me an apology.
Mitch Hedberg
I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.
Mitch Hedberg
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Based on Topics: Happiness Quotes, Work & Career QuotesBased on Keywords: gum, pondering
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