Officer, I know I was going faster than 55 mile per hour, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.
More Quotes from Steven Wright:
My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.Steven Wright
You know how it is when you decide to lie and say the check is in the mail, and then you remember it really is I'm like that all the time.
Steven Wright
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
Steven Wright
I was cesarean born. You can't really tell, although whenever I leave a house, I go out through a window.
Steven Wright
The statue is permanently out of place in my house,
Steven Wright
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
Steven Wright
Readers Who Like This Quotation Also Like:
The power to question is the basis of all human progress.Indira Gandhi
But I'm not imaginative. I couldn't look into the future, like Star Wars or Robots or anything like that.
Harry Dean Stanton
The only thing I can't stand is discomfort.
Gloria Steinem