I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar.
More Quotes from Steven Wright:
You know how it is when you decide to lie and say the check is in the mail, and then you remember it really is I'm like that all the time.Steven Wright
My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year.
Steven Wright
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
Steven Wright
I bought a ticket on Airline Bizarre ... a one-way round-trip ticket.... You leave any Monday and they bring you back the previous Friday.... that way, you still have the weekend.
Steven Wright
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
Steven Wright
Referring to a glass of water I mixed this myself. Two parts H, one part O. I don't trust anybody.
Steven Wright
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Amherst was pivotal in my broad intellectual development; MIT in my development as a professional economist.
Joseph E. Stiglitz
I think every young cook wants to write a book.
Thomas Keller