You can say the nastiest things about yourself without offending anyone.
More Quotes from Phyllis Diller:
It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.Phyllis Diller
Keep at least one window pane clean to check the weather. Once when I didnt do this I sent the kids off with umbrellas for six weeks straight.
Phyllis Diller
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Phyllis Diller
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
Phyllis Diller
I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?
Phyllis Diller
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