Will Rogers Quotes (368 Quotes)

There is not a man in the country that can't make a living for himself and family.

When everybody has got money they cut taxes, and when they're broke they raise 'em. That's statesmanship of the highest order.

More men have been elected between sundown and sunup than ever were elected between sunup and sundown.

Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.

A comedian can only last till he either takes himself serious or his audience takes him serious.

If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

There isn't any finer folks living than a Republican that votes the Democratic ticket.

Live your life so that whenever you lose, you are ahead.

The reason political party platforms are so long is that when you straddle anything it takes a long time to explain it.

You politicians have got to look further ahead you always got a Putter in your hands, when you ought to have a Driver.

The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.

We can make this thing into a Party, instead of a Memory

The health of nations is more important than the wealth of nations.

A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.

There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.

When an Okie moves to California, he raises the IQ of both states

It was the luckiest thing that ever happened to me. Betty is to blame for it all. Whatever I am or have accomplished, I owe to Betty. I ain't got no sense. My wife made me what I am. In other words -- local girl makes good in the city -- makes good man.

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.

About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.

An economist's guess is liable to be just as good as anybody else's.

We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.

Politicians, after all, are not over a year behind public opinion.

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

People talk peace. But men give their life's work to war.

A politician is not as narrow-minded as he forces himself to be.

We are the first nation in the history of the world to go to the poorhouse in an automobile.

People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.

The main thing about being a hero is to know when to die.

The whole thing about the women is, they lust to be misunderstood

Nowadays it is about as big a crime to be dumb as it is to be dishonest.

Horsemanship through the history of all nations has been considered one of the highest accomplishments. You can't pass a park without seeing a statue of some old codger on a horse.

My own mother died when I was 10 years old. My folks have told me that what little humor I have comes from her. I can't remember her humor, but I can remember her love and understanding of me. Of course, the mother I know the most about is the mother of our little group. She has been for 22 years trying to raise to maturity four children, three by birth and one by marriage. While she hasn't done a good job, the poor soul has done all that mortal human could do with the material she had to work with.

What he needs is some way to pay back. Not some way to borrow more.

Broad-minded is just another way of saying a fellow is too lazy to form an opinion.

Every Harvard class should have one Democrat to rescue it from oblivion

Don't just grab at the first thing that comes along. . . . Know when to refuse something that won't get you anywhere.

A conservative is a man who has plenty of money and don't see any reason why he shouldn't always have plenty of money

Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.

The minute you read something you can't understand, you can almost be sure it was drawn up by a lawyer.

You should never try and teach a pig to read for two reasons. First, it's impossible and secondly, it annoys the hell out of the pig

Now if there is one thing that we do worse than any other nation, it is try and manage somebody else's affairs.

Pain is such an uncomfortable feeling that even a tiny amount of it is enough to ruin every enjoyment.

I like to hear a man talk about himself because then I never hear anything, but good.

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.

An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.

Successful colleges will start laying plans for a new stadium unsuccessful ones will start hunting a new coach

Shrewdness in Public Life all over the World is always honored, while honesty in Public Men is generally attributed to Dumbness and is seldom rewarded.

I would rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it.