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Joseph Heller Quotes (91 Quotes)


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  • He was sick with lust and mesmerized with regret
    (Joseph Heller, "Catch-22")

  • Major Major never sees anyone in his office while he's in his office.
    (Joseph Heller, "Catch-22")

  • They couldn't keep Death out, but while she was in she had to act like a lady.
    (Joseph Heller, "Catch-22")

  • I am miracle ingredient Z-247. I'm immense. I'm a real, slam-bang, honest-to-goodness, three-fisted humdinger. I'm a bona fide supraman.
    (Joseph Heller, "Catch-22")

  • Man was matter, that was Snowden's secret. Drop him out a window, and he'll fall. Set fire to him and he'll burn. Bury him and he'll rot, like other kinds of garbage. The spirit gone, man is garbage. That was Snowden's secret. Ripeness was all.
    (Joseph Heller, "Catch-22")


  • They think that they're smart, and that the rest of us are dumb.
    (Joseph Heller, "Catch-22")

  • I have a weakness for fresh eggs.
    (Joseph Heller, "Catch-22")

  • Man was matter. Drop him out of a window and he'll fall. Set fire to him and he'll burn. Bury him and he'll rot, like other kinds of garbage.
    (Joseph Heller, "Catch-22")

  • This stuff is better than cotton candy, really it is. It's made out of real cotton. Yossarian, you've got to help me make the men eat it. Egyptian cotton is the finest cotton in the world.
    (Joseph Heller, "Catch-22")

  • I lost my balls! Aarfy, I lost my balls!
    (Joseph Heller, "Catch-22")

  • Nately had a bad start. He came from a good family.
    (Joseph Heller, "Catch-22")

  • Victory gave us such insane delusions of grandeur that we helped start a world war we hadn't a chance of winning. But now that we are losing again, everything has taken a turn for the better, and we will certainly come out on top again if we succeed in being defeated.
    (Joseph Heller, "Catch-22")

  • All over the world, boys on every side of bomb line were laying down their lives for what they had been told was their country, and no one seemed to mind, least of all the boys who were laying down their young lives.
    (Joseph Heller, "Catch-22")

  • I wouldn't want to live without strong misgivings.
    (Joseph Heller, "Catch-22")

  • Now you've given them hope, and they're unhappy. So the blame is all yours.
    (Joseph Heller, "Catch-22")


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