Homer Simpson Quotes (42 Quotes)

I'm gonna drink lots of beer and stay out all night.

That's it, from now on I'm not looking forward to anything Oh my god Tomorrow there's a two for one sale on piano benches. I can't wait, ooh, ooh, ooh

mmmmmmm. donutsbeererotic cakes.

Marge, dont discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. Its what separates us from the animals except the weasel.

Alright Brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But lets just do this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.

Here's to alcohol the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

Referring to why the ghost town is built so far away Because they're stupid That's why everybody does anything

It YVAN EHT NIOJ doesn't mean anything It's like 'ramalamadingdong' or 'give peace a chance'

You can be the first to try out the new guest bedroom I built. Remember, if the building inspector comes by, it's not a room, it's a windowbox

When the house is on fire When a fire starts to burn there's a lesson you must learn, something-something then you'll see, you'll avoid catastrophe, D'oh

Blame the guy who doesn't speak Engish.

I'm hittin' the road. Maybe I'll drop you a line some day from wherever I wind up in this crazy old world.

Oh Lisa, you and your stories... Bart is a Vampire... Beer kills off braincells... Now lets go back to that... building.... where bed and tv.... is.

Mmmm...Forbidden donut.

Chief justice of the supreme court. What great men he would join - John Marshall, Charles Evans Hughes, Warren Berger, mmmm burger

I'm not telling you, 'Never eat a hamburger.' Just eat the good ones with real beef, you know, like the ones from that mom-and-pop diner down the street, ... And it's so good that when you take a bite out of that burger, you just know somewhere in the world a vegan is crying.

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive

If at first you don't succeed, give up.

If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing.

Let's just say that on this day, a million years ago, a dude was born who most of us think was magic. But others don't, and that's cool. But we're probably right. Amen. - Homer Simpson

The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws

When will you Australians learn In America we stopped using corporal punishment, and things have never been better The streets are safe. Old people strut confidently through the darkest alleys. And the weak and nerdy are admired for their computer-programming abilities. So, like us, let your children run wild and free, because, as the old saying goes, let your children run wild and free.

(Lisa) I'm going to become a vegetarian (Homer) Does that mean you're not going to eat any pork Yes Bacon Yes Dad Ham Dad all those meats come from the same animal Right Lisa, some wonderful, magical animal

A hundred bucks for a comic book Who drew it, Michaelmelangelo

Sport, it doesn't matter whether you win or lose... It's how drunk you get.

Marge Look at all this great stuff I found at the Marina. It was just sitting in some guy's boat

Flanders I think we hit something. Homer I hope it's Flanders

Aah Hey, get off my sugar. Bad bees Bad Ow. Oww Oh, they're defending themselves somehow

Carnies built this country, the carnival part of it anyway.

Just because i don't listen doesn't mean i don't understand.

We have learn't a very valuable leasson today it's better to watch stuff then to do stuff.

Boy , Moe, that team sure sucked last night. They just plain sucked I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

Olive oil ... asparagus ... if your mother wasn't so fancy, we could shop at the gas station like normal people.

AHHH. Donuts. . . What can't they do.

When will I learn The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV.

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

Owww look at me Marge, I'm making people Happy I'm the magical man, from Happy Land, who lives in a gumdrop house on Lolly Pop Lane...... By the way I was being sarcastic...

at prof. Frink's yard saleThree dollars and it only transports matter

Prohibition HA They tried that in the movies and it didn't work

Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless.

Oh..please dont eat me, I have a wife and three kids...eat them

Good things don't end in 'eum,' they end in 'mania' or 'teria