Let's think the unthinkable, let's do the undoable. Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.
Let's think the unthinkable, let's do the undoable. Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.
The longest and most destructive party ever held is now into its fourth generation and still no one shows any signs of leaving. Somebody did once look at his watch, but that was eleven years ago now, and there has been no follow up.
Here, for whatever reason, is the world. And here it stays. With me on it.
Perhaps I'm old and tired, but I always think that the chances of finding out what really is going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say hang the sense of it and just keep yourself occupied.
What does it matter? Science has achieved some wonderful things, of course, but I'd far rather be happy than right any day.
Reality is frequently inaccurate.
Nobody likes a whistler, particularly not the divinity that shapes our ends.
She tried to worry that something terrible had happened to him, but didn't believe it for a moment. Nothing terrible ever happened to him, though she was beginning to think that it was time it damn well did. If nothing terrible happened to him soon maybe she'd do it herself. Now there was an idea.
The technology involved in making anything invisible is so infinitely complex that nine hundred and ninety-nine billion, nine hundred and ninety-nine million, nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine times out of a trillion it is much simpler and more effective just to take the thing away and do without it.
How many roads must a man walk down?
Please call me Eddie if it will help you to relax.
Who is this god person anyway?
Structural linguistics is a bitterly divided and unhappy profession,and a large number of its practitioners spend many nights drowning their sorrows in Ouisghian Zodahs.
Shee, you guys are so unhip it's a wonder your bums don't fall off.
Sherlock Holmes observed that once you have eliminated the impossible then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible.
This was the very limit beyond which none of them had ever speculated, or even known that there was any speculation to be done.
I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed.
The bird that would soar above the plain of tradition and prejudice must have strong wings.
Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?
The little waiter's eyebrows wandered about his forehead in confusion.
The available worlds looked pretty grim. They had little to offer him because he had little to offer them. He had been extremely chastened to realize that although he originally came from a world which had cars and computers and ballet and Armagnac, he didn't, by himself, know how any of it worked. He couldn't do it. Left to his own devices he couldn't build a toaster. He could just about make a sandwich and that was it.
Sunlight played along the River Cam. People in punts happily shouted at each other to fuck off. Thin natural scientists who had spent months locked away in their rooms growing white and fishlike, emerged blinking into the light. Couples walking along the bank got so excited about the general wonderfulness of it all that they had to pop inside for an hour.
We can't win against obsession. They care, we don't. They win.
I was created to fulfill a function and I failed in it. I negated my own existence.
The Heart of Gold fled on silently through the night of space, now on conventional photon drive. Its crew of four were ill as ease knowing that they had been brought together not of their own volition or by simple coincidence, but by some curious perversion of physics- as if relationships between people were susceptible to the same laws that governed the relationships between atoms and molecules
Zaphod marched quickly down the passageway, nervous as hell, but trying to hide it by striding purposefully.
The only moral it is possible to draw from this story is that one should never throw the Q letter into a privet bush, but unfortunately there are times when it is unavoidable.
The quality of any advice anybody has to offer has to be judged against the quality of life they actually lead.
That was it. That was really it. She knew that she had told herself that that was it only seconds earlier, but this was now the final real ulimate it.
What I need... is a strong drink and a peer group.
I'd far rather be happy than right any day.
The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the effect of which is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.
Afterwards the world will explode for your pleasures.
The Universe, the whole infinite Universe. The infinite suns, the infinite distances between them, and yourself an invisible dot on an invisible dot, infinitely small.
The Saab seethed off into the night. Arthur watched it go, as stunned as a man might be who, having believed himself to be totally blind for five years, suddenly discovers that he had merely been wearing too large a hat.
The complexities of cause and effect defy analysis.
Zaphod Beeblebrox crawled bravely along a tunnel, like the hell of a guy he was. He was very confused, but he continued crawling doggedly anyway because he was that brave.
If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.
The only person for whom the house was in any way special was Arthur Dent, and that was only because it happened to be the one he lived in.
He didn't know why he had become president of the galaxy, except that it seemed a fun thing to be.
To Trin Tragula's horror, the shock completely annihilated her brain; but to his satisfaction he realized that he had proved conclusively that if life is going to exist in a Universe of this size, then the one thing it cannot afford to have is a sense of proportion.
There is an art to the business of making sandwiches which it is given to few ever to find the time to explore in depth. It is a simple task, but the opportunities for satisfaction are many and profound.
Believe me, it is a great deal better to find cast-iron proof that you're innocent than to languish in a cell hoping that the police---who already think you're guilty---will find it for you.
The door was the way to... to... The Door was The Way. Good. Capital letters were always the best way of dealing with things you didn't have a good answer to.
Zaphod did not want to tangle with them and, deciding that just as discretion is the better part of valor, so was cowardice is the better part of discretion, he valiantly hid himself in a closet.
In moments of great stress, every life form that exists gives out a tiny subliminal signal.
The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.
He had personality problems beyond the dreams of analysts.
A computer chattered to itself in alarm as it noticed an airlock open and close itself for no apparent reason. This was because reason was in fact out to lunch.
There was one planet off in the seventh dimension that got used as a ball in a game of intergalactic bar billiards. Got potted straight into a black hole.
© 2020 Inspirational Stories
© 2020 Inspirational Stories