Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone. When I came back the entire area was missing.
More Quotes from Steven Wright:
I turned my air conditioner the other way around, and it got cold out. The weatherman said, 'I don't understand it. It was supposed to be 80 degrees out today.' I said, 'Oops ... 'Steven Wright
I was on a ski lift with another person ... no one I knew ... and he didn't say a word until we were half way up the mountain ... then he said, 'I haven't been skiing in ten years.' I said, 'How come' He said, 'I was in jail.' I didn't say anything. He said, 'You wanna know why' I said, 'Not really.' He said, 'I'll tell you anyway ... I was jailed for pushing a complete stranger off a ferris wheel.' I said, 'Oh yeah, I remember you.'
Steven Wright
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers.
Steven Wright
I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
Steven Wright
I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
Steven Wright
I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking," but I don't have that much time.
Steven Wright
Readers Who Like This Quotation Also Like:
Based on Keywords: parkedIn my opinion, Al Moritz may be the best poet of his generation in Canada.
George Murray
Man lives in a world of surmise, of mystery, of uncertainties.
John Dewey
People hear the soul, black influence in my voice. I grew up listening to CKLW and all the black stations like WLBS.
Madonna Ciccone