It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused.
More Quotes from Steven Wright:
When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?"Steven Wright
I had amnesia once or twice.
Steven Wright
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
Steven Wright
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.
Steven Wright
I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.
Steven Wright
I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd think about what kind of food you want, and the table would move across the floor to it.
Steven Wright
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I always conceive a piece as a different set of challenges.John Corigliano
I remarked constantly, just at sunset, in these latitudes, that the eastern horizon was brilliantly illuminated with a kind of mock sunset. This in a short time disappeared, to be soon succeeded by another similar in character, but more faint.
George Grey
To die is different from what any one supposed, and luckier.
Walt Whitman