I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help me, and I say, 'Have you got anything I'd like' Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, 'Extra medium.'
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Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.Steven Wright
When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.
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The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store ... with a pricing gun. She said, 'Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store.'
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My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out.
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My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them.
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I can't stop thinking like this.
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Based on Topics: Shopping QuotesBased on Keywords: have, salespeople
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