I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
More Quotes from Steven Wright:
A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. 'You didn't borrow this.' 'I will.'Steven Wright
My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them.
Steven Wright
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him.
Steven Wright
A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to go. You'll just be walking down the street and ... ooooohhhhhh, that's much better.
Steven Wright
The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store ... with a pricing gun. She said, 'Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store.'
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When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.
Steven Wright
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I can't do anything else. So if this falls through, I'm screwed.
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