I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
More Quotes from George Carlin:
Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider.George Carlin
Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
George Carlin
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
George Carlin
In labor news, longshoremen walked off the piers today rescue operations are continuing
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Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
George Carlin
You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
George Carlin
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George Bernard Shaw
One other hobby of mine has been playing the oboe but I have not kept this up after 1969.
Kenneth G. Wilson
Grief is like a moving river, so that's what I mean by it's always changing. It's a strange thing to say because I'm at heart an optimistic person, but I would say in some ways it just gets worse. It's just that the more time that passes, the more you miss someone.
Michelle Williams