When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his horse
More Quotes from George Carlin:
Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.George Carlin
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
George Carlin
Excuse me, officer, but would you mind bringing the wreckage a little closer this way My wife can't see
George Carlin
We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing.
George Carlin
The status quo sucks.
George Carlin
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
George Carlin
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Secrets are things we give to others to keep for us.Elbert Hubbard
There is no life for girls in team sports past Little League. I got into tennis when I realized this, and because I thought golf would be too slow for me, and I was too scared to swim.
Billie Jean King
Rare is the human being, immature or mature, who has never felt an impulse to pretend he is some one or something else.
George P. Baker