Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
More Quotes from Mitch Hedberg:
On a traffic light green means go and yellow means yield, but on a banana it's just the opposite. Green means hold on, yellow means go ahead, and red means where the hell did you get that banana at...Mitch Hedberg
I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.
Mitch Hedberg
I had an apartment and I had a neighbor, and whenever he would knock on my wall I knew he wanted me to turn my music down and that made me angry 'cause I like loud music... so when he knocked on the wall, I'd mess with his head. I'd say Go around I cannot
Mitch Hedberg
It's hard to dance if you just lost your wallet. Whoa Where's my wallet But, hey this song is funky...
Mitch Hedberg
Sometimes I fall asleep at night with my clothes on. I'm going to have all my clothes made out of blankets.
Mitch Hedberg
If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work.
Mitch Hedberg
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It may interest you to know that my breakup with Terry and this mystery did not happen concurrently in real life. That is a writer's device, which places Gabriel under even greater pressure when the mystery begins to reveal itself.
Armistead Maupin
Poor but happy is not a phrase invented by a poor person.
Mason Cooley