I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.
More Quotes from Erma Bombeck:
Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, No, thank you, to dessert that night. And for whatErma Bombeck
Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.
Erma Bombeck
The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
Erma Bombeck
How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
Erma Bombeck
Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
Erma Bombeck
All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
Erma Bombeck
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And I think that what is of concern is that they seem to be bringing skills from the scientific world into the interrogation room in a way that begs a lot of questions about whether it's ethical.
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