Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something.
More Quotes from Emo Philips:
My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often.Emo Philips
How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
Emo Philips
Well, my brother says Hello. So, hooray for speech therapy.
Emo Philips
Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil.
Emo Philips
I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'
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I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes.
Emo Philips
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Based on Topics: Woman QuotesBased on Keywords: skimpy, squash
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