We have a different show planned for you today because things have changed and we cannot pretend they haven't, ... I can't pretend to do a normal show.
More Quotes from Ellen DeGeneres:
I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises.Ellen DeGeneres
Our egos tells us we're the only ones that have any kind of feelings. We're the only ones with a relationship. We're the only ones with family. You know, I think that if you kill a spider, there is a relationship that you're ruining. There's a conversation going on outside with the other spiders. 'Did you hear about Chris....Killed yeah....Sneaker. And now Stephanie has nine hundred babies to raise all alone. Well, she's got her legs full I'll tell you that right now. Chris was so kind, wouldn't hurt a fly. It's just been tough for them lately. They just lost their web last week. Those humans think they're so smart. Let them try shooting silk out of their butt and see what they can make.'
Ellen DeGeneres
So, I bought a new cd and I was trying to get it open but couldn't with all the layers..I mean plastic and then tape and the tape is like government tape. It says open here..is that sarcasm, and buy batteries and they are in there with layers and layers of cardboard and then scissors....you need scissors to get into scissors, what if you were buying them for the first time you wouldnt be able to get them open. Then you try and buy a light bulb and it's this thin thin cardboard .....what are they thinking Ohh they'll be fine
Ellen DeGeneres
But seriously, I think overall in the scheme of things winning an Emmy is not important. Let's get our priorities straight. I think we all know what's really important in life - winning an Oscar.
Ellen DeGeneres
Here's the analogy. If my body were a car, I'd be thinking about trading it in around now. I would like to upgrade. I would be actually on the lot somewhere and some guy with a loud sports jacket would be sizing me up... kinda lookin' around goin--maybe kickin my knees. Looking behind me going That looks a little bashed in back there... Yeah. You mind if I check under the hood 'Well yes I do Thank you very much.(talking about her body and the fact that she's aging.)
Ellen DeGeneres
My mother is going to call me as soon as she hears something, ... I literally watched CNN and sobbed all night long, and Wednesday I cried again. Now I'm not crying.
Ellen DeGeneres
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