I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, ''Soup of the Day Cream of Asparagus. Ellen DeGeneres.''
More Quotes from Ellen DeGeneres:
I swear if Colgate comes out with one more type of toothepaste. I just want clean teeth that's all I want. I don't want the tartar and I don't want the cavaties. And I want white teeth. How come I have to choose And then they have the 'Colgate Total' that supposedly has everything in there. I don't believe that for one second. If it's all in the one, how come they make all the others Who's going I don't mind the tartar so much.Ellen DeGeneres
We're putting a face on something that a lot of people don't understand, ... And we want to give people some information before they make up their minds and judge us.
Ellen DeGeneres
I loved doing the show every week, ... This was an important chapter of my life and although I'm disappointed the show was canceled, I look forward to moving beyond the stereotype. Look for me in my new sitcom, 'Two Girls, a Horse and Some Wine Coolers.'
Ellen DeGeneres
We have a different show planned for you today because things have changed and we cannot pretend they haven't, ... I can't pretend to do a normal show.
Ellen DeGeneres
But seriously, I think overall in the scheme of things winning an Emmy is not important. Let's get our priorities straight. I think we all know what's really important in life - winning an Oscar.
Ellen DeGeneres
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I had to get rid of any idea of hell or any idea of the afterlife. That's what held me, kept me down. So now I just have nothing but contempt for the institution of the church.
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