Certain motherfuckers think they can fuck with my shit, but you can't kill the Rooster. You might can fuck him up some times, but, bitch, nobody kills the motherfucking Roster. You know what I'm saying?
("Me Talk Pretty One Day")
More Quotes from David Sedaris:
What's the trick to remembering that a sandwich is masculine? What qualities does it share with anyone in possession of a penis? I'll tell myself that a sandwich is masculine because if left alone for a week or two, it will eventually grow a beard.David Sedaris
For as long as I can remember, my father saved. He saves money, he saves disfigured sticks that resemble disfigured celebrities, and most of all, he saves food. Cherry tomatoes, sausage biscuits, the olives plucked from other people's martinis --he hides these things in strange places until they are rotten. And then he eats them.
David Sedaris
Why refer to Lady Crack Pipe or Good Sir Dishrag when these things could never live up to all that their sex implied.
David Sedaris
The message was that if something is free, you should only take the best. If, on the other hand, you're forced to pay, it's best to lower the bar and not be so choosy.
David Sedaris
I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.
David Sedaris
Readers Who Like This Quotation Also Like:
Based on Keywords: fuck, motherfuckers, motherfucking, roosterI'm looking more like my dogs every day - it must be the shaggy fringe and the ears.
Christine McVie
My secret ambition was always to provide music for animation films: something with an Indian theme, either a fairy tale or mythological tale or on the Krishna theme. I still have a very deep desire, but these sorts of chances don't always come.
Ravi Shankar
You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you are going, because you might not get there.
Yogi Berra