Why refer to Lady Crack Pipe or Good Sir Dishrag when these things could never live up to all that their sex implied.
More Quotes from David Sedaris:If you moved to Paris and you didn't know anybody and you wanted to make friends, ... then you could go to these readings at English-language bookstores and you would meet people. Even if you weren't that interested in writing.
After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations.
They were nothing like the French people I had imagined. If anything, they were too kind, too generous and too knowledgable in the fields of plumbing and electricity.
Maybe I'll learn a trade. I've considered taxidermy. I always thought it was a shame you couldn't do that on people.
It was all luck and it all started with that radio piece. If it wasn't for that, I'd probably still be cleaning apartments as a maid in New York.'
We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.
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You know what they say about Chicago. If you don't like the weather, wait fifteen minutes.
In an action film you act in the action. If it's a dramatic film you act in the drama.
Jean Claude Van Damme
A day spent without the sight or sound of beauty, the contemplation of mystery, or the search of truth or perfection is a poverty-stricken day; and a succession of such days is fatal to human life.