If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry.
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'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.Dave Barry
The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.
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There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who have several thousand extra dollars apiece.
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Although we modern persons tend to take our electric lights, radios, mixers, etc., for granted, hundreds of years ago people did not have any of these things, which is just as well because there was no place to plug them in. Then along came the first Electrical Pioneer, Benjamin Franklin, who flew a kite in a lighting storm and received a serious electrical shock. This proved that lighting was powered by the same force as carpets, but it also damaged Franklins brain so severely that he started speaking only in incomprehensible maxims, such as 'A penny saved is a penny earned.' Eventually he had to be given a job running the post office.
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Congress shall also create a tax code weighing more than the combined poundage of the largest member of the House and the largest member of the Senate, plus a standard musk ox.
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The function of RAM is to give us guys a way of deciding whose computer has the biggest, studliest, most tumescent MEMORY. This is important, because with todays complex software, the more memory a computer has, the faster it can produce error messages. So the bottom line is, if youre a guy, you cannot have enough RAM.
Dave Barry
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Based on Keywords: furry, plight, toadsYou know what? I'm really attracted to British women, there's something innately proper about them. However badly they behave their accent is so cute that it makes up for everything!
Josh Hartnett
A child's education should begin at least one hundred years before he is born.
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
I find it strange the way human nature wants heroes and yet wants to destroy their heroes. It's a kind of mass insecurity people want something to look up to and get a buzz off but, at the same time, want to destroy it because it makes them feel insecure.
Danielle Dax