Do you think there's any possibility you could get CBS management to split your salary up amongst the rest of us
More Quotes from Andy Rooney:
Democrats (I think to myself) are liberals who believe the people are basically good, but that they need government help to organize their lives. They believe in freedom so fervently that they think it should be compulsory. They believe that the poor and ignorant are victims of an unfair system and that their circumstances can be improved if we give them help. Republicans (I think to myself) are conservatives who think it would be best if we faced the fact that people are no damned good. They think that if we admit that we have selfish, acquisitive natures and thenAndy Rooney
I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who think they like our country more than I do. Some people's idea of patriotism is hating other countries.
Andy Rooney
We've sent a man to the moon, and that's 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week, but for some reason nobody's ever done it.
Andy Rooney
People like to say, You're only as old as you feel, but it isn't true. It's just something old people say to make themselves feel good about their age. You're as old as you are.
Andy Rooney
Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
Andy Rooney
I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.
Andy Rooney
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