A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
More Quotes from Groucho Marx:If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
I wasn't kissing her, I was just whispering in her mouth.
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
When Judy Garland lost the 1954 best actress Oscar to Grace Kelly in The Country Girl, ... Dear Judy, this is the biggest robbery since Brinks.
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You can't totally rebel, otherwise you have to go live on your own, on a desert island. It's as simple as that.
When I make a book, I make it for the child and not for the parent - no jokes in it for the parents!
A fact is like a sack - it won't stand up if it's empty. To make it stand up, first you have to put in it all the reasons and feelings that caused it in the first place.