Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
More Quotes from George Carlin:
Who decides when the applause should die down It seems like it's a group decision everyone begins to say to themselves at the same time, Well, okay, that's enough of that.George Carlin
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
George Carlin
You live eighty years, and at best you get about six minutes of pure magic
George Carlin
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
George Carlin
They call it the 'American Dream' because you have to be asleep to believe it.
George Carlin
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it A Death What's that, a bonus I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating...... and you finish off as an orgasm.
George Carlin
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Based on Topics: Pets QuotesBased on Keywords: sweaty
I'm a homebody, I'd rather be in the kitchen cooking than hanging out in a bar.
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Man forgives woman anything save the wit to outwit him.
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The only thing I was any good at was music.
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