My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
More Quotes from W. C. Fields:
Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.W. C. Fields
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. Fields
A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter.
W. C. Fields
The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
W. C. Fields
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. Fields
The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.
W. C. Fields
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Based on Topics: Babies QuotesBased on Keywords: fluid, insistence, whitish
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