It's as though I've been sleepwalking and suddenly woken to find myself here
After sixty-one years together, she simply clutched my hand and exhaled.
The thought has cheered me, and I'd like to hang onto that. Must protect my little pockets of happiness.
I had my whole life planned.. I knew exactly where it was taking me..
It's just a crazy damned life, that's all ...
Afterward she lies nestled against me, her hair tickling my face. I stroke her lightly, memorizing her body. I want her to melt into me, like butter on toast. I want to absorb her and walk around for the rest of my days with her encased in my skin.
Then I lie down on the horse blanket and drift into a dream about Marlena that will probably cost me my soul.
I hate this bizarre policy of protective exclusion, because it effectively writes me off the page.
I've decided it's not about me at all. It's a protective mechanism for them, a way of buffering themselves against my future death, like when teenagers distance themselves from their parents in preparation for leaving home.
All I can do is put in time waiting for the inevitable, observing as the ghost of my past rattle around my vacuous present. They crash and bang and make themselves at home, mostly because there's no competition. I've stopped fighting them. They're crashing and banging around in there now. Make yourselves at home, boys. Stay awhile. Oh, sorry- I see you already have. Damn ghost.
There is no question that I am the only thing standing between these animals and the business practices of August and Uncle Al, and what my father would do--what my father would want me to do--is look after them, and I am filled with that absolute and unwavering conviction. No matter what I did last night, I cannot leave these animals. I am their shepherd, their protector.
I just can't. I'm married. I made my bed and now I have to lie in it.
Just when you're getting the hang of life, it knocks your legs out from under you and stoops your back. It makes you ache and muddies your head...
Although there are times I'd give anything to have her back, I'm glad she went first. Losing her was like being cleft down the middle. It was the moment it all ended for me, and I wouldn't have wanted her to go through that.
They grew fat and happy--the horses, not the children, or Marlena for that matter.
I roll onto my side and stare out the venetian blinds at the blue sky beyond. After a few minutes I'm lulled into a sort of peace. The sky, the sky--same as it always was.
Keeping up the appearance of having all your marbles is hard work, but important.
And don't miss Frank Otto, the world's most tattooed man! Held hostage in the darkest jungles of Borneo and tried for a crime he didn't commit, and his punishment? Well, folks, his punishment is written all over his body in permanent ink!
We traveled for two weeks with a pickled hippo.
I scan the room. Catherine is writing quickly, her light brown hair falling over her face. She is left-handed, and because she writes in pencil her left arm is silver from wrist to elbow.
Life is the greatest show on earth!
But it all zipped by. One minute Marlena and I were up to our eyeballs, and the next thing we knew the kids were borrowing the car and fleeing the coop for college. And now, here I am. In my nineties and alone.
When I first submerged my feet into frigid water, they hurt so badly I yanked them out again. I persisted, dunking them for longer and longer periods, until the cold finally blistered.
I stare at her for a long moment. I want to kiss her. I want to kiss her more than I've ever wanted anything in my life.
Life is the most spectacular show on earth ?
Dear God. Not only am I unemployed and homeless, but I also have a pregnant woman, bereaved dog, elephant, and eleven horses to take care of.
Why the hell shouldn't I run away with the circus?
I strain to hear, but my old ears, for all their obscene hugeness, pick up nothing but snippets:
Sometimes I think if I had to choose between an ear of corn or making love to a woman, I'd choose the corn.
Do you have any idea how much an elephant drinks?
More Sara Gruen Quotations (Based on Topics)
Life - Death & Dying - World - People - Man - Home - Body - Woman - Faces - Dogs - Happiness - Work & Career - Animals - Fathers - War & Peace - Present - Education - Night - Competition - View All Sara Gruen Quotations
More Sara Gruen Quotations (By Book Titles)
- Water for Elephants
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