No damn cat, and no damn cradle.
A pissant does his best to make you feel like a boob all the time.
The whore, who said her name was Sandra, offered me delights unobtainable outside of Place Pigalle and Port Said. I said I wasn't interested, and she was bright enough to say that she wasn't really interested either. As things turned out, we had both overestimated our apathies, but not by much.
I said I wasn't interested, and she was bright enough to say that she wasn't really interested either. As things turned out, we both overestimated our apathies, but not that much.
Nothing is generous. New knowledge is a valuable commodity. The more truth we have to work with, the richer we are.
And we all vied, in saving face, to be the greatest student of human nature, the person with the quickest sense of humor.
There is love enough in this world for everybody, if people will just look.
If I were a younger man, I would write a history of human stupidity; and I would climb to the top of Mount McCabe and lie down on my back with my history for a pillow; and I would take from the ground some of the blue-white poison that makes statues of men; and I would make a statue of myself, lying on my back, grinning horribly, and thumbing my nose at You Know Who.
On the day they dropped the bomb Frank had a tablespoon and a Mason jar. What he was doing was spooning different kinds of bugs into the jar and making them fight....I can remember other bug fights we staged later on...They won't fight unless you keep shaking the jar.
Any man can call time out but no man can say how long the time will be out.
We'd all do well to start over again, preferably with kindergarten.
If you want to find a Granfalloon, remove the skin from a toy balloon.
Round and round we spin, with feet of lead and wings of tin.
Anyone unable to understand how useful religion can be founded on lies will not understand this book either.
When a man becomes a writer, I think he takes on a sacred obligation to produce beauty and enlighenment and comfort at top speed
In this world, you get what you pay for.
She broke my heart. I didn't like that much. But that was the price. In this world, you get what you pay for.
As stupid and vicious as men are, this is a lovely day.
You'll forget it when you're dead, and so will I. When I'm dead, I'm going to forget everything-and I advise you to do the same.
It posed the question posed by all such stone piles.: how had puny men moved stones so big? And, like all such stone piles, it answered the question itself. Dumb terror had moved those stones so big
The brainless serenity of charwomen and janitors working late at night came over us. In a messy world we were at least making our little corner clean.
But people didn't have to pay as much attention to the awful truth. As the living legend of the cruel tyrant in the city and the gentle holy man in the jungle grew, so, too, did the happiness of the people grow. They were all employed full time as actors in a play they understood, that any human being anywhere could understand and applaud.
Jonah-John-if I had been a Sam, I would have been a Jonah still-not because I have been unlucky for others, but because somebody or something has compelled me to be certain places, at certain times, without fail. Conveyances and motives, both conventional and bizarre, have been provided. And, according to plan, at each appointed second, at each appointed place this Jonah was there.
The fortifications have never been attacked, nor has any sane man ever proposed any reason why they should be attacked. They have never defended anything. Fourteen hundred persons are said to have died while building them. Of these fourteen hundred, about half are said to have been executed in public for substandard zeal.
Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die.
Live by the harmless untruths that make you brave and kind and healthy and happy.
The heartbreaking necessity of lying about reality and the heartbreaking impossibilty of lying about it
Having a yacht is a reason for being more cheerful than most.
Maturity...is knowing what your limitations are...Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything.
The most heartbreakingly beautiful girl I ever hope to see
More Kurt Vonnegut Quotations (Based on Topics)
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- Breakfast of Champions
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