No one expected a first year engineering student to build the perfect bridge.
No one expected a first year engineering student to build the perfect bridge.
Nothing Personal? You've harrassed my mother, stolen my car, and now you're telling people I've gotten you pregnant! In my opinion, getting someone pregnant is pretty fucking personal! Jesus, isn't it enough I'm accused of murder? What are you the bounty hunter from hell?
Suppose I lay down on the pavement and you run over me a few times with my own car...just for old times.
Wouldn't want to tarnish my image by looking like a good guy.
And the closest I've come to an out-of-body experience was when Joe Morelli took his mouth to me fourteen years ago, behind the eclair case.
You're a lunatic. You ran me over with a goddamn Buick.
He rooted for the Mets, he wore Foot of the Loom underwear, and he drove a Buick. His loyalties were carved in stone and he wasn't about to be impressed with some upstart of a toaster salesman who drove a Bonneville.
You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious."-
I attributed the incidence to temporary insanity, and in my own defense, I'd like to say I haven't run over anyone since.
I figured I'd embellish the truth a little, since the police might not be up on the finer points of bounty hunterism and might not understand about commandeering.
I got out of the tub and had to squelch a scream when I saw my reflection in the vanity mirror. My hair looked like it had taken 2000 volts and been spray starched
I had an alarm, I had nerve gas, I had a yogurt. What more could anyone want?
I wasn't sure exactly how prostitutes determined price, but if men bought hookers by the pound, these two would be doing okay.
In my opinion, the only good spider is a dead spider, and women's rights aren't worth dick if they mean I can't ask a man to do my bug squashing.
It was a weird sensation. Like getting caught eavesdropping, or lying, or sitting on the toilet and having the bathroom walls suddenly drop away.
It's fucking hard to be classy
Jesus, Morelli, you sound like you have PMS. You have to learn to lighten up a little. It's just a car alarm. You should be thanking me. I had it installed with my own money.
My body is not designed to run. My body was designed to sit in an expensive care and drive.
© 2020 Inspirational Stories
© 2020 Inspirational Stories