Boy, when you are dead, they really fix you up. I hope to hell when I do die somebody has sense enough to just dump me in the river or something. Anything except sticking me in a god dam cemetery. People coming and putting a bunch of flowers on your stomach on Sunday and all that crap. Who wants flowers when you are dead Nobody.
I'm the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life.
How do you know you're going to do something, untill you do it?
People never believe you.
I don't even like old cars. I'd rather have a goddam horse. A horse is at least human, for God's sake.
I'm sick of just liking people. I wish to God I could meet somebody I could respect.
What I like best is a book that's at least funny once in a while.... What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone...
Some of my best friedns are children. In fact, all of my best friends are children.
They didn't act like people and they didn't act like actors. It's hard to explain. They acted more like they knew they were celebrities and all. I mean they were good, but they were too good.
If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she's late? Nobody.
An artist's only concern is to shoot for some kind of perfection, and on his own terms, not anyone else's.
I was about half in love with her by the time we sat down. That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty... you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are.
People never notice anything.
Its really hard to be roommates with people if your suitcases are much better than theirs.
It's funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to.
You take somebody that cries their goddam eyes out over phoney stuff in the movies, and nine times out of ten they're mean bastards at heart.
I'm sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody.
I used to think she was quite intelligent, in my stupidity. The reason I did was because she knew quite a lot about the theater and plays and literature and all that stuff. If somebody knows quite a lot about those things, it takes you quite a while to find out whether they're really stupid or not. It tooks me years to find out....
It was a very stupid thing to do, I'll admit, but I hardly didn't even know I was doing it.
I am a kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.
I don't exactly know what I mean by that, but I mean it.
All morons hate it when you call them a moron.
How long should a man's legs be? Long enough to touch the ground.
Goddam money. It always ends up making you blue as hell.
Mothers are all slightly insane.
I'm quite illiterate, but I read a lot.
He had a theory, Walt did, that the religious life, and all the agony that goes with it, is just something God sics on people who have the gall to accuse Him of having created an ugly world.
The worst thing that being an artist could do to you would be that it would make you slightly unhappy constantly.
More J. D. Salinger Quotations (Based on Topics)
People - Movies - Life - Hell - Performance Arts - Money & Wealth - Art - Jokes & Humor - Happiness - Telephones - Flowers - Respect - Children - Perfection - Mothers - Belief & Faith - Time - Friendship - Sadness - View All J. D. Salinger Quotations
Leo Tolstoy - Robertson Davies - Richard Bach - Naguib Mahfouz - J. R. R. Tolkien - Gabriel Garcia Marquez - Elizabeth Gilbert - Boris Pasternak - Arthur Herzog - Alistair Maclean