Bill Bryson Quotes (60 Quotes)

English grammar is so complex and confusing for the one very simple reason that its rules and terminology are based on Latin -- a language with which it has precious little in common. In Latin, to take one example, it is not possible to split an infinitive. So in English, the early authorities decided, it should not be possible to split an infinitive either. But there is no reason why we shouldn't, any more than we should forsake instant coffee and air travel because they weren't available to the Romans. Making English grammar conform to Latin rules is like asking people to play baseball using the rules of football. It is a patent absurdity. But once this insane notion became established, grammarians found themselves having to draw up ever more complicated and circular arguments to accommodate the inconsistencies.

My first rule of travel is never to go to a place that sounds like a medical condition and Critz is clearly an incurable disease involving flaking skin.

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age.

I have long known that it is part of God's plan for me to spend a little time with each of the most stupid people on earth.

When I was growing up I used to think that the best thing about coming from Des Moines was that it meant you didn't come from anywhere else in Iowa. By Iowa standards, Des Moines is a mecca of cosmopolitanism, a dynamic hub of wealth and education . . .

The whole of the global economy is based on supplying the cravings of two per cent of the world's population.

I had always thought that once you grew up you could do anything you wanted - stay up all night or eat ice-cream straight out of the container.

Boston's freeway system is insane. It was clearly designed by a person who had spent his childhood crashing toy trains.

My first rule of consumerism is never to buy anything you can't make your children carry.

Incidentally, disturbance from cosmic background radiation is something we have all experienced. Tune your television to any channel it doesn't receive, and about 1 percent of the dancing static you see is accounted for by this ancient remnant of the Big Bang. The next time you complain that there is nothing on, remember that you can always watch the birth of the universe.