I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
More Quotes from Steven Wright:
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.Steven Wright
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
Steven Wright
Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
Steven Wright
The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store ... with a pricing gun. She said, 'Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store.'
Steven Wright
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
Steven Wright
I've never seen electricity, that's why I don't pay for it.
Steven Wright
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But why shouldn't I speak out? Don't you speak out in this country?
George Steinbrenner
When you've heard one bagpipe tune, you've heard them both.
Jack Finney