I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.
More Quotes from Robert Orben:
I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.Robert Orben
Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
Robert Orben
A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.
Robert Orben
In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh.
Robert Orben
I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
Robert Orben
I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it -- after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.
Robert Orben
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If we really wanted to be cool, and everyone in the world had Pro Tools, we could just put it up on the internet and everyone could make their own record out of it.
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