I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
More Quotes from Robert Orben:
Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.Robert Orben
More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.
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With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!
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Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
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A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.
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Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
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