Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
More Quotes from Ogden Nash:
A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.Ogden Nash
There is something about a Martini,
A tingle remarkably pleasant;
A yellow, a mellow Martini;
I wish I had one at present.
Ogden Nash
The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.
Ogden Nash
The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.
Ogden Nash
Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive.
Ogden Nash
A cough is something that you yourself can't help, but everybody else does on purpose just to torment you.
Ogden Nash
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A man's real possession is his memory. In nothing else is he rich, in nothing else is he poor.
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If today is your typical day in America, 80 of our fellow citizens will die from gunfire. In the last two weeks, more Americans have died from gunfire here at home in the United States than in the entire war in Iraq since it started.
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