It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.
More Quotes from Jay London:
I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.Jay London
I dated a partially nude model, and she did a half-assed job.
Jay London
Did you know that today will never be tomorrow.
Jay London
I work at Bed Bath and Beyond. I work in the Beyond section. When someone asks me where is the Bath section I say 'It's Beyond Me'.
Jay London
I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.
Jay London
I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it.
Jay London
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And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow.Gilbert K. Chesterton
If we don't have an informed electorate we don't have a democracy. So I don't care how people get the information, as long as they get it. I'm just doing it my particular way and I feel lucky I can do it the way I want to do it.
Jim Lehrer
And the sad truth is that nobody wants me to write comedy. The Exorcist not only ended that career, it expunged all memory of its existence.
William Peter Blatty