In just two weeks, Bill Clinton will no longer be President of the United States. He'll just be another chubby, middle-aged guy annoying the waitresses at Hooters.
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The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular.Jay Leno
More coming out about Saddam Hussein. We now know he takes Viagra and he has as many as six mistresses. No wonder Congress is reluctant to take action against this guy - he's one of their own.
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Proceeds from his book go to C.O.P.S., a charity benefiting the children of police officers killed in the line of duty. Even if you don't like me, you'll be happy knowing 100 of the profits will go to this, ... Jay will not profit in any way.
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Al Jazeera aired a new tape of Osama bin Laden. It was the usual stuff, he called Bush evil, the Great Satan, called him a war monger. Basically, the same thing you heard at last night's Democratic debate.
Jay Leno
Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors.
Jay Leno
Scientists in Australia are working on making biodegradable car parts out of hemp. This might get confusing. When someone says, roll up the window, they might mean, roll up the window.
Jay Leno
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Based on Keywords: chubby, hooters, waitressesAnd in doing this I advise you to send to the best manors of your lands those of your household in whom you place most confidence to be present in August at the leading of the corn, and to guard it as aforesaid.
Robert Grosseteste
We love Cyclops and as you know, we love James. It's a great team and we'll continue the team, obviously.
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There is one day that is ours. Thanksgiving Day is the one day that is purely American.
O. Henry