I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'
More Quotes from Emo Philips:
I was at a bar nursing a beer. My nipple was getting quite soggy.Emo Philips
I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.
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New York's such a wonderful city. Although I was at the library today. The guys are very rude. I said, I'd like a card. He says, You have to prove you're a citizen of New York. So I stabbed him.
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I have a lot more things to talk about now because I'm an adult.
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I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.
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Well, my brother says Hello. So, hooray for speech therapy.
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Based on Topics: Man QuotesBased on Keywords: crushed
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