I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
More Quotes from George Carlin:
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.George Carlin
There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
George Carlin
I'm having fun because I don't take it (life) seriously - the only things I care about are my family, friends, work and my lady, Sally. Philosophers for a long time have said 'why are we here' - I'm here for the entertainment. If you're born in the world, you're given a ticket to the freak show if you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
George Carlin
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it A Death What's that, a bonus I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating...... and you finish off as an orgasm.
George Carlin
He appreciated its compounded vulgarity, ... It had that Peter Finch in 'Network,' 'I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore' quality.
George Carlin
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
George Carlin
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Based on Topics: Purposes QuotesBased on Keywords: bookstore, saleswoman, self-help
If something anticipated arrives too late it finds us numb, wrung out from waiting, and we feel - nothing at all. The best things arrive on time.
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Our cat is kind dove shellfish, and thinks the world is hers, She finds a comfy spot and then we pet turtle sheep purrs.
Brian P. Cleary
April in Paris, chestnuts in blossom, holiday tables under the trees.
E. Y. Harburg