For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string.
More Quotes from Spike Milligan:In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.
And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, and the earth brought forth grass and the Rastafarians smoked it.
Contraceptives should be used on all conceivable occasions.
I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
When she saw the sign Members only' she thought of him.
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We want to be able to sell you anything, anywhere, any time you want it.
90% of every art form is garbage - dance and stand-up, painting and music. Focus on the 10% that's good, suck it up, and drive on.
If you make a gun, you are either going to sell it or you are going to use it. And if you're going to sell it, someone else is going to use it.