The first person I learned I could make happy with laughter was my mother, whom I idolize. It was a powerful thing to realize. I knew I had found my life's work.
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So, I bought a new cd and I was trying to get it open but couldn't with all the layers..I mean plastic and then tape and the tape is like government tape. It says open here..is that sarcasm, and buy batteries and they are in there with layers and layers of cardboard and then scissors....you need scissors to get into scissors, what if you were buying them for the first time you wouldnt be able to get them open. Then you try and buy a light bulb and it's this thin thin cardboard .....what are they thinking Ohh they'll be fineEllen DeGeneres
Hello..Oh, hi Tom. Ooh, I've been dying to see that movie...Mmm no, I just opened up some yogurt. I am in for the night....Not even later, it's the kind with the fruit on the bottom. Thanks anyway. Have fun. Oh...Sorry I'm late...Traffic. Hm. Really How you think I got here Hellacoptered in
Ellen DeGeneres
We're putting a face on something that a lot of people don't understand, ... And we want to give people some information before they make up their minds and judge us.
Ellen DeGeneres
And we certainly don't have full conversations on cellphones. You know Usually the reception is so bad, but it's only bad on your side. The person talking to you has no clue...They're just rambling on and on. You've got your finger jammed in your ear, you're shushing people on the streets. You're ducked behind a dumpster so you can hear about your friend's new hair cut. 'What about the bangs are they shorter...Are the bangs shorter...THE BAAANGS
Ellen DeGeneres
I swear if Colgate comes out with one more type of toothepaste. I just want clean teeth that's all I want. I don't want the tartar and I don't want the cavaties. And I want white teeth. How come I have to choose And then they have the 'Colgate Total' that supposedly has everything in there. I don't believe that for one second. If it's all in the one, how come they make all the others Who's going I don't mind the tartar so much.
Ellen DeGeneres
My cat, Ethel, is an indoor cat but somehow she's sneakin' out at night. 'Cause the other morning I found a stamp on her paw... I wouldn't have noticed myself, but I just bought this new black light and she passed right under it and I said, 'Hey, what's that on you paw
Ellen DeGeneres
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Based on Topics: Laughter Quotes, Mothers Quotes, Work & Career QuotesBased on Keywords: idolize
We can only reason from what is; we can reason on actualities, but not on possibilities.
Thomas Paine
Paradoxically, the people and state of Japan living on such moral props were not innocent but had been stained by their own past history of invading other Asian countries.
Kenzaburo Oe
Misery loves company, but company does not reciprocate.
Addison Mizner